It's Part Of Life...

In Fartz's words, not mine. Strong words, these. And with it being part of life, the next portion of this partly philosophical mantra is to deal with it. Fast.

On the night we had free tickets to see Marie Digby perform at Velvet Underground, I had the misfortune of making a new "friend" and it was not by choice either. You know how I am as an anti-socialite. It is not in me to happily go up to random strangers in hopes of expanding my already compact social circle.

I was with MarcJacobsNerd doing crunches on my favorite abdominal machine when this chick came up to us asking which of the machines were suitable for abs. Since I was already on one and was ready to abort my workout in favor of letting cool water stream down my heated skin, I motioned to what I was doing and offered it to her instead. It was on the back of my mind that this girl had obviously not gone through a FitStart program with a FitProf because if she had, she wouldn't seem so lost.

Seriously, there is something wrong with these females. Specifically, Malay females. Indeed, I have problem with them. Or rather, they have a problem that stems from within themselves. Not to be prejudiced against my own race but I find myself getting into situations with these females that I just have no tolerance for.

As far as first impressions go, this one hardly reached an inch before she decided that she was comfortable enough in front of me to be using the dreaded word, "aku" much to my appall.

I wasn't sure if my jaw visibly dropped to the floor or not but I was not a happy gymmer. That was colloqial for "I" but in a much coarser version. For a thirty year-old woman to be using "aku" to a young person is just bleeding to the ears. Mine, to be exact. That was fine because I wasn't obliged to reply her in the same manner so whatever that she spoke to me in Malay, I responded in English. But to be liberally spouting off swear words in Malay?? Sorry, lady, you're not in my league.

I was at the point where I even had to beg to leave because this woman just would not let me off to the shower. Why do you think I go to the gym all by myself?? I appreciate the fact that the only people around me are the trainers who pretty much leave me alone and go about their own merry way. Only the select few go out of their way to ensure that I was either doing okay or gunning me to do better.

This woman right here was neither. What I had in my hands was a clinger. I don't do clingers. Okay, rephrase. I don't do clingers who think swearing in Malay is cool. I don't need to stand in front of people and listen while they mouth off in their native language because I am embarrassed for them. I am also not obliged to stand in front of gym goers while they work on their muscles and neither do I expect them to do the same for me.

So, it gets worse.

She started to complain about how the air conditioning in the gym was affecting the amount of perspiration she generated from her time on the treadmill. However much that was. And there I was, grateful for small favors such as the very mechanical device she loathed because half of what money I paid for gym membership probably went into paying the electricity bills.

Get. Away. From. Me. Now.

Seriously, why, why, why??

I don't see what the big fuck is about. If you've got a problem with the air conditioning here at the gym then I suggest you take a long run in the park at noon one day for forty-five minutes to an hour when the sun is high up there so you can get your preferred dosage of body liquid out from your pores.

It was time that the conversation we were having came to an end and although I was frantically whipping my head around for someone to at least rescue me from this horrendous demise, it didn't happen and of course I was all alone for this one.

She continued her rant as soon as she saw a kickboxing class in the studio and proceeded to tell me about her own bad experience with kickboxing.

Look at this face and tell me something. Do you really think I give a damn??

Yech.

I was finally able to locate MarcJacobsNerd and waved him to come by. After hastily asking him to explain further about the benefits of having a FitStart I beat the fastest retreat possible and literally breathed an audible sigh of relief as I kneaded the back of my neck out from consternation.

Then I remembered something else. We had exchanged numbers because she saw me do it with MarcJacobsNerd so naturally, it was the next best thing to do.

You know, there are times when I wished I didn't have a phone. This was definitely one of them.

Shhhhhit.

But that's okay, you know. It's part of life so let's just deal with it.

I hope she lost that damned paper.

Laterz...
Lenny