Phwoaaaar, Fuck!! No More Bloody Team To Support...

Forget about me posting on the third round of group matches!!

I am pissed & depressed enough to spit nails.

Basket...now, after the knockout rounds, both my teams have been perpetually knocked out by their respective opponents.

I didn't exactly watch the Netherlands take on Portugal, but from what I've heard & obviously read, it wasn't exactly a fair match although no blood was shed. Of course, Holland lost by a pithy goal from that fat bastard, Nuno Maniche. And my horse didn't play!! Why didn't my horse play!?!? Gahh!!

It wasn't as if I didn't want to watch the match, I kinda fell asleep. *looks away guiltily*

Well, it wasn't my fault. Blame it on the England vs Ecuador match I was watching beforehand. It put me right in the mood for sleeping. Until, of course, came David Beckham's spectacularly brilliant freekick.

Ohh, David. Only you can bend it like Beckham. And only YOU can make a Gillette advert look deliciously sexy as you run that shaver across your jaw while making a St. George's flag. *swoons*

Ahem...

Anywayz, the England game was pretty much like Groundhog Day. Yet again. And I don't understand why I insist on punishing myself so by watching all the English matches. Like, seriously. I must not have a life to be doing such a thing. Or maybe I'm a sadist to myself. In any case, I again regretted my decision to watch it even though, yes, David Beckham was playing as he was suffering from the flu & fever.

Awwwwwww...

So, of course, I neglected to catch my Dutch team play the Portugese & the moment I woke up the morning after, I immediately streamed towards my lappie just so I could login to soccernet.com & see if my people had won their battle. You see, I had a dream that there was going to be a penalty shootout & Holland would win 3-2.

Alas, it was not to be & my heart sank as I scanned through the articles.

See, the bad thing about football is that it is unhealthy in the most unhealthiest way possible. For example, before matches, what does one do while waiting for a match to start?? He raids out all the food he can find from his refridgerator, cupboards, pantry, dustbin, his next-door neighbor's house, wherever he can scour for food, he will or so help him, he will die.

During the match, what does he do?? Yep, he starts stuffing his mouth with whatever he found earlier on & when halftime comes around, he'll get out to air his bum & refill his stock.

And after the match, then what does he do?? Well, there are two possible scenarios but it'll pretty much boil down to the same result. If his team wins it, he'll be cheering & singing with them when they're winning while happily slugging down more food because it's all part of the eat, drink & be merry tradition.

However, if his team loses, he'll mop around for awhile, in a zombie-like depression state where he'll go through a couple of rounds of heartburn & is unconcious to his surroundings & so is lost to the world in which he seeks remedy in, what else?? More food!!

And embarrassingly enough, I found myself in this sticky situation more times than I can count since the World Cup started. It's a bitch, really. I'm hoping to get back to my normal state once the WC is over or God help me, I WILL kill myself.

Anywayz, after suffering from partial heartache I had acquired when I viewed Holland's results, I had barely time to recover when another heartache surfaced, this time in the form of France vs Spain.

Seriously, can you suffer two heart attacks in the span of two days without dying??

I felt like jumping down my tenth storey flat after Franck Ribery, Patrick Vieira & Zinedine Zidane blasted the Spanish net just as I settled down into thinking that Spain could well win this match with only a David Villa penalty shot.

I was SO on the verge of bursting into tears, just like how Edwin Van Der Sar did when Ruud went over to lend a consoling shoulder. Man, I never thought I'd see Edwin Van Der Sar cry -the big man that he was- but yeah, he did. Ahh, what a man...

Both of my French friends have urged me to jump ship & support their home team even though they knew how much I resented them. They even had the gall to suggest that I could stop pretending now & just fully support France. I kill myself first, can??

I guess now I'll just have to turn my attentions to Germany & hope as hell that they come through. After all, I've still got my Fried-boy playing. And maybe, just maaaaaaybe, I'll consider England as well since they're taking out Portugal. Although a fat load of good that is. England is SO overrated, as is France. As much as I don't like Brazil, I hope they crush Napolean Bonaparte's descendents to a bloody pulp.

Die, die, DIEEEEE!!!

Do I seem psychopathic to you?? Yes, I know. I've got murder in my eyes.

I am SO looking forward to the next round.

Laterz...
Lenny Chubby Dean GodGilla Xabs