The Missing Piece/s In My Life Is/Are...

In conjuction with the GB Family blogs, here's my piece.

I always thought that the piece missing in my life was a sense of belonging. For most of my growing up years, I was frequently a social outcast, preferring to be a one-man show. I wasn't part of a big group, instead opting to be with the minorities. It was like that in primary school, half of my secondary life & one-third of my polytechnic life.

At first, I didn't really take notice of it but as I grew older, it suddenly dawned that I had very few friends & the handful that I had were the only ones I was ever close to.

It took me two years of secondary school for me to fit into a certain group of friends whom thankfully, are still staying strong till now. Before them, I was what you could call, a misfit. I realized that interacting with anyone & everyone wasn't necessarily a good thing. Having a gazillion friends doesn't mean having good friends. And with them, I belonged.

When I entered NYP, I thought I had passed that stage in my life where I had to worry about not having any friends. But no. I still had to deal with almost the same kind of shit I did before & I felt like a misfit all over again. Because I didn't belong anywhere & I had no one.

Until the GB Family came about. The beginnings of how we all came together is still a little misty & there are a few variations of its origins. But, the outcome was still the same. With the GB Family, I finally belonged again. I discovered that they are one of the missing pieces in my life & without them, I don't think things would turn out the way they had.

That was a missing piece that has wound its way up my little life puzzle. Not only do I still have my Old Gang, I have the GB Family AND an extended family of friends in Bunny & Mori, all of whom I love to bits. That part of my life is now complete.

So, now I guess the other missing piece would be The One. Yes, it sounds cliche & so orthodox that you get sick of hearing it over & over again everywhere. I know that not having The One by my side is everything & vice versa. It's just an added bonus. But. It kinda leaves a hollow ache in the heart whenever I turn around & see couples -and I mean really, truly happy couples. No, not jealous. Never jealous. But maybe a tad nostalgic.

I guess the missing piece in my life would be having to belong to The One, belonging, be accepted & be loved by The One & not just be looking in on the outside.

I think maybe that particular part is still missing from my life. Not that I have any urge to 'find' it anytime soon. But I have often wondered what it would be like to be 'in love'. A wistful thought enters the mind but deep down, I am afraid. God knows why I am. Afraid of rejection?? Afraid of risking that fragile muscle on the left?? Afraid of crashing & burning without being able to pick up stray pieces?? *shrugs*

Because for myself, I don't believe in mate-hopping at the proverbial rate of one changing one's clothes. I believe in The One & only The One. My first & my last. That's it.

Bunny says she's gonna help me nail meself a man. I say she's gone beserk. BUT. I trust her judgement enough to know she won't land me some Apek that does nothing but sit around at the coffeeshop or even worse, a psychopathic chikopek. And you know how much I have an aversion to tall, dark & handsome types. Not those blonde ones; they only surf the oceanic waves.

No lahh.

And Nini, will you please not try to matchmake me with your good friends who's already taken just because you don't like his girlfriend & think we're both compatible?? I don't want the girlfriend to come & stab me in my sleep. Please. I want a long life.

And sorry for this slightly late entry. Busy, you know. *winkz*

Laterz...
Lenny JC