Last Day Of Fasting...

Firstly, thank you Kity for saying hello on MSN AFTER you demand for your share of the photos. In caps lock. *gives standing ovation* Thanks, ehh. Very tactful of you. I should practice that next time, man. If only I wasn't the one with the camera & the photos.

Today marks the end of Ramadhan & frankly, I am sad to see it go. I didn't use to be; I used to feel nothing for it's end but this year seems different. This year, realization seems to sink in to me more often than not. I seem to be reflecting more than usual.

Doing a personal survey on my fasting month, I managed to 'hit' my desired targets that I did just before Ramadhan started. My praying rate has gone up, unlike before Ramadhan & I intend to keep it that way after Ramadhan passes. I mean, just because Ramadhan has ended doesn't mean I go back to my sinning ways, right??

I see my parents, striving hard to make themselves more religious, in order to so-call pay back what they didn't do before, and my self-righteous sisters whom go for religious classes more times than I do in a week & it makes me want to be a better Muslim. But that doesn't make me a staunch one, though.

After breaking fast & doing our evening prayers, it was time to ask for forgiveness. Mom went to Daddy first & a few tears were shed by both parties before it was my turn. As I kissed Daddy's hand, I half expected him to give me the same advice he'd been giving me for years.

Study hard, be a good girl & help Mom around the house as well as assist my sisters with their schoolwork.

But, this year, Daddy threw me a curveball.

He said, "You're already a grown girl, able to make most decisions yourself based on your own judgement. My only advice to you is that whatever decision you make, remember where you come from & do it the Islam way."

After that, all words escaped me. My well-thought speech of me hoping for a better relationship with Daddy seemed to vanish from my mind. And judging on the present time, I have to say that our relationship was definitely much better than when I was growing up, from child to teenager.

Because when I was a child, I was Daddy's girl but somehow, we sort of drifted really, really far apart, constantly disagreeing on everything & nothing. It was almost too wide a gap to breach. And I think he knew it too.

And as I approached my Mummy, the same thing happened. All words seemed to be wiped away & I was void of it, except a rushed Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin. I guess it was pretty unspoken between us. It went without words that I try to be real close to my parents now & I think they both felt & knew it. Which is a good thing, I guess.

Just so you guys know. I still haven't gotten my mobile back yet, the unlucky fool that I am. So, instead of messaging everyone like I used to, I guess I'll just blog it right here. To whomever that comes to my blog, that is.

To all my fellow Muslims alike, I am so arranging all my ten fingers in askance for forgiveness. To whomever's feelings that I've hurt or might have hurt or am going to hurt with my words or actions, I hope you people don't take it too much at heart & try to stab me with a knife when I'm not looking. I know the temptation is huge & revenge is sweet, but forgiveness is sweeter. So again, Selamat Hari Raya Minal Aidil Wal Faidzin. And don't eat so much on the first day of Raya till you feel like bursting.

I'm sorry lahh, I can't do it in Malay. My Malay is so horrible, so please excuse it.

And yes, I finally got down to cleaning my room & turning it into something less resembling a karanguni's lair. Windows polished, curtains changed, posters taken down in replacement of new ones, bedroom floor vacuumed & mopped; all by myself. So there. *sticks out tongue*

Laterz...
Lenny JC