In A Time Of Early Baby Carriages...And Marriages...

In today's modern epoch that sees the crescendo of Westernization, or do I dare say, Americanization where the young of Asia can be seen abandoning their most basic of moral values and throwing caution to the wind by getting hitched --or pregnant before hitching-- at an early age. In the States, it is now a trend to be pregnant --and mostly single-- at sixteen.

Ironic. To be a kid and have a kid.

At home, almost the same principle is being applied. The facade for a poster family would include a very young mother probably aged 21 or below holding a few-months old baby with the father who is no older than she, dutifully pushing an Aprilla stroller --if they can afford that brand, otherwise, Combi would be an economical choice. What is wrong with this image?? Nothing much. Unless of course, the mother happens to be wearing skinny jeans with tight revealing tops and the father, clad in tattoos with colored hair and multiple piercings. And the race of this family would of course have to be Malay. There they go, parading a strong front along the rows of shops at Tampines Mall.

By the way, if it were any other race in any other nation-state, I would not have brought the subject matter up. Because to the rest of the world, this poster would have been stamped as okay.

The matter of whether the blessed union was of the shotgun version or not remains to be seen.

What is it about the people getting hitched at such an early age these days?? Is it because they have already found The One?? Or is it because they're itching to get it on??

Just this year I have heard about people getting engaged and having engagement ceremonies relentlessly. Added to that, the rules of engagement have changed and the business is becoming more and more competitive. What had orginially stemmed from just a meeting between two families to prepare themselves for what is to come of their two children has been blown out of proportions like it was a wedding in itself.

And for what??

People, you can't even make red-hot love after you become engaged. In fact, the groom isn't supposed to be there because you're still not bound together religiously in the eyes of God.

Technically, an engagement ceremony is optional. One can just choose to get married straight away if all is well. My personal take on engagement ceremonies are that they are a waste of time and precious money. Because you can take that amount of money and splurge it for an even grander wedding. Or even a longer honeymoon.

My view on this roots from how I was brought up and judging from all these engagement ceremonies that I have been to, I would say this is such a typical Malay thing. The Malays are notorious for doing things with a bang and with the exception of death, this is one of those such examples. They just love showing off (read: Paragraph 3).

Correct, it is a joyous occassion that two people are finally getting together and all that fluff but what if something happens along the way to marriage on the duration of the engagement.

What if they broke up??

Then what was all that buildup about getting engaged all about?? What happened to the grandeur and hype that surrounded the couple's getting together??

So as the trend of engagement ceremonies grow bigger, the brides-to-be get younger. Amongst the engagement ceremonies that I have heard of this year, half of them were held by girls whom are younger than myself.

In no way am I under pressure. Who cares if I am the first grandchild of my family on my mother's side and by right, should be the first to get married?? Sorry, we break convention.

The basis of this entry is to re-question and challenge the assumptions --if there are any challenges at all-- that surround the fact girls nowadays are re-living the lives of their parents and grandparents back in the era where getting married early was the way to go.

Fast forwarding to today's break-neck speed society, does the same principle still apply??

As compared to the advancement of the community today versus the suburban or even rural life of before, yes, there was a a probable need because what else could they do besides get married?? The people were poorer, their life was in the fields and globalization wasn't as eminent as it is today.

But what could possibly be the reasons for this phenomenon to be happening today?? Every other time when I hear about such young girls getting engaged, it automatically brings to mind their hopes, their dreams, their aspirations and ambitions. Their will to rise above and make something better out of themselves. Their thirst for knowledge. Their quest for globe-trotting. Where has that hunger drained out to??

It does sound prejudice and correct me if I'm wrong but even if one got married at the age of eighteen, have you known any of these couples to be college or polytechnic graduates waiting for their future at the doors of NUS?? Or are these couples the kind whom got themselves thrown out of the doors of ITE East College with a bleak future at stake??

It is plausible that these things could be done even when one ties the knot, but would the feeling of doing all these things as a couple be the same as when one is doing it alone as a single person?? Behaving in a certain way with your friends may not be the same way you behave when around you other half.

So when is the right age to say "I do"??

The truth is there is no right age. But waiting is the key. For the females, I'd say ages 25 to 27 should do nicely as a timeline. Or 24. That is, if you're already not single and taken. You've got your degree or your masters, you're piggy bank is swelling quite pleasantly; setting aside some funds at this point should not be much of an ache. It would mean that you're financially stable to handle the monetaries once life after marriage hits.

For the males, anything above 26 to 28. And by 26, I do not mean still having your laundry done by the hired help. And by 28, I do not mean getting random numbers from girls and calling them up in the middle of the night and asking if you could be their friend. I'm sure you know that males have the ultimate tendencies to mature a little slower than their female counterparts and with these tendencies, they make themselves assholic towards the females on some parts.

In theory, it is okay to tie the knot at a young age. But it is not okay if to get married because of the irresponsibility on their part that causes an extra responsibility to bear that will come in nine short months. That would be just suicidal.

Laterz...
Lenny