Outwit. Outplay. Outlast...Outwork.

You may have guessed from before that I don't usually blog about work. Because I believe nobody's really interested about the kind of crap you encounter at work just to get through the day. But for this one entry, I'll make an exception.

It has finally ended. Six months of heavyduty internship has come to an end. As much as I am leaving with a heavy heart, there are a few things I woulnd't mind missing. The past six months have been bitterweet at best. New friendships were formed and I haven't swapped aliances from the word go. And for this group of people, I don't think I ever will.

I did switch tribes, however. Not by choice. Though it was for the shortest of periods, it still felt weird because the relationship I had with my previous tribe was of a warm one, compared to the frigidity of this current tribe. The shaman of my current tribe was never interested in my welfare. She was more concerned about how I could be of a service to her. Two shamans of the same gender, yet so different in personality.

As I look back, I would like to remember this breeding ground for illnesses as a place that holds fond memories. And of course, great benefits. Sure, I loathe the times when I had to play the role of a bookshop / photocopy auntie and bind copies and copies of reports for Lardy in the corner of the stationary room inside the pantry. But working for Lardy sure beats working for that manipulative Ice Bitch whose reputation of not knowing how to operate the SPSS program and her endless calls for troubling others to get what she wants preceeds her.

Under her reign, the number of temp staff working dropped out one by one like flies in an insect electrocuter. Even her own interns and a permanent staff threw in the towel within weeks of each other.

I was the latest of her acquisitions after my previous shaman tried her hardest to tighten her hold on me. Hence, the redundant brain-killing book-keeping duties. It was only now that I realized her strategy of not wanting the Ice Bitch to get her sharp claws on us. I knew that if I were to be flexible and bending, they'd do me in just like how they did BBOAG. Five minutes in the new tribe and she had already asked me to stay back for a Focus Group Discussion. Three times.

Why would I want to stay back to do some stupid unpaid ushering duty when I had a free ticket to Get Up Close With Colbie Caillat?? No, thanks. I put my foot down and felt no remorse. And that was the very last conversation I had with Ice Bitch. She hardly acknowledges her presence which is fine by me since I can't be bothered with being a fake sucker who thinks that boot licking is how one would climb through the ranks.

Sorry, no. My pride overrules this behavior.

I realized that by playing this whole Survivor game, I have earned a few wrinkles, literally. A long one on my forehead that is visible when I raise my eyebrows or frown and the makings of crow's feet at my eyes spotted by the mother. And I am very worried for myself. I am not even married!! I shouldn't be having wrinkles. Scratch that, I'm YOUNG!! I shouldn't be having wrinkles.

Anywazoo, it has been a challenge of sorts. How so?? It is a challenge to keep yourself sane in a situation where insanity rues the day. It is a challenge to prevent your brain from turning into a puddle of mush. It is a challenge to stay positive and strong in the face of adversity --that's right, it's you I'm narrowing my eyes at, Lardy!! It is a challenge when you think you can't get through the day without shedding those tears of frustration.

No, I haven't cried. In fact, I haven't cried in a long time. It's the rage thing that overpowers those tears and shoves them back where they belong, in their tear ducts.

I realized that no matter how the situation is, you just can't help but get attached. Comparing this to my previous attachment at SingTel during my polytechnic days, this is definitely much better. Much more work to be done, but it's probably got something to do with the people around --discounting the Ice Bitch and her Ice Goblins, of course.

ChubbyMom: From Day 1 when you told Delta you were going to make me a Lunch Kaki, I had never felt so welcomed and flooded with relief. All through my journey from home to MediaCorp, I was quite worried that I would be a lonely outsider. I could actually foresee myself a lonesome figure packing lunch from the canteen or bringing lunch from home and eating all alone at some solitary stairwell or hiding in some room. Even though they were times when you stretched it a little too much with all the favors you asked of me, I think I'll let it slide. Because you've done favors for me too and we should never be so calculative in life and around friends.

LeapGal: Another Lunch Kaki whom I can vent out my exasperation to and know that it is with her that my frustrations will stay. Such a sweet and gentle thing, she is. With her around, balance is in existance. You and the other two really took care of me for the past six months.

Mamee Rai: She said she loves to hear me laugh. I miss giving her hugs. Pregnant women deserve loads of hugs. She has since given birth to Andi Raziq, whom I have yet to see. She's still huggable, though!!

Queen: I used to think you, as my shaman, were anal. I take it back. You have never shown me anything other than motherly concern and as I part from this office, I will keep in mind the way you handle your fellow suordinates's welfares and how much respect they --and I-- have for you. Although in the relationship you have, we all know you're wearing the pants --figuratively and literally speaking-- I'd never have thought you'd have that motherly thing in you. This sure beats that married-with-kids Ice Bitch. You could've stopped acknowledging me once I started working for your arch-nemesis but you didn't. And I appreciate that. Thanks for the goodie bag and the tea break treat. Ehh minions, you heard that?? I know Veronickah made a fool out of himself by running away from you and dodging your outstretched hand so he wouldn't have to take your money but you know, he liked the treat all the same. Out of everyone in the office, I think you're the one who has watched us transform from mere interns to actual office colleagues. We were all equal and you never once treated us like we were nobodies. I'm going to miss you loads. You rock, Queen!! Respect.

Delta: It was good while it lasted. I actually enjoyed working under you and I think your sunny disposition makes the work load feel lighter. You are indispensible to this company because everyone loves you and they need you more than anyone else. I learned loads from you, especially SPSS and even as I got memory lapses and forgot the things you taught me, you were never hesitant to remind me again. And you bought me a romance novel for Christmas!! But that was before you Punk'd me by wrapping an SPSS book and handing it to me. I nearly bawled the day you told me that from now until the end of my term that I was to let either Ice Bitch or any of her Ice Goblins sign my timesheet, do you know??

Lardy: Lardy, Lardy, Lardy. We've got this love-hate thing going on. I hated the stuff you made me do. It was brain-numbing shit. I hated the way you tried to squeeze yourself in between my desk and my PC and take up what little personal space I have and filling it with your Eau De Lorong Halus. I hated that you had me do assignments that were for your convenience. So that you could read the data better, you said. I wanted to take all that data and shoving it where the sun don't shine. I think it was you who caused me this wrinkle. But, at the same time, I miss doing shit for you. I miss being the bookshop auntie and binding your reports. I have never had a harder time in my life when I was working under you. It sucked, big time. You can't count how many times I went home with pent up anger. I even contemplated on sending you a hate email at one point. But when you told me that I was no longer your disciple and instead became Ice Bitch's, I screamed for you to take me back. And you told me you couldn't because you had nothing left for me to do. I think I might have felt the life draining out out me. It has never been the same since. But if there's one thing I've learned from you, Lardy, is that I've emerged stronger emotionally. I figured, this has got to be the lowest of lows and if I could have gone through that unscathed, I can do anything. Thanks a gazillion, Lardy.

Ronaldo: If I were lesbian, I'd probably have the courage to ask you out and date you. You are just the sweetest looking thing I have ever seen. I could sit down and just stare at you and be happy for the rest of my life. Everytime I see you, I just want to give you a big hug. Especially during the week Lardy went for reservist and you had to re-run the crap data he'd been giving me. You Pretty Young Thing, you.

Meshia: If there is anyone louder than loud or even louder than me, it's her and her group of cronies from Field. Although we only got close after last year's Christmas Exchange, I have never met anyone as boisterous as this dog-lover. If she were a breed of a dog, she'd be a Saint Bernard. Today, she gave me a handphone charm made out of Swarovski crytals that she made herself. I don't even own a handphone!! I love her. She says the most outrageous things and was SUPPOSED to be one of my gym buddies --the other being ChubbyMom-- but in the end, it didn't fall through. Instead while we were having KFC one day and poked at a piece of chicken skin I had put aside. She inquired why I didn't eat it because it was such a heavenly tasting piece of crispy skin.

*heavy sigh*

No, no, Meshia, no.

There were so many people whose names I do not know but have either engaged in idle chat with or have given a wave or two whenever we pass each other. I'm told that I make friends with the janitors and the guards at the gates as well as this groupie slash faux in-his-own-right celebrity mailman, apparently. Veronickah gets a kick out of proving that I indeed have my own fanbase and never ceases to wonder if I really am a celebrity. He's nuts. Joker.

Veronickah and I did eventually get sick of seeing each other and oftentimes had to have a timeout between us. I don't blame him. It's not a secret that I can be quite a handful and am able to test the most patient of saints. I managed to piss him off a couple of times as did he. But we've managed not to kill one another. We definitely deserve a good pat on the back for sticking out this long. Well, it has been one heck of a journey.

Veronickah and I have seen our share of interns/temp staff/converted perm staff come and go with the speed of a bullet train. And we still couldn't believe we lasted all of six months here.

I was the last to leave the office today, at 6.30pm. A contradictory move instead of my usual grab and go style. The staff were either in Bangkok, on leave, went home or were preparing for a Focus Group Discussion. Veronickah had left first because he had a ride waiting for him while I decided upon taking the Magic School Bus for the last time. The gangster uncle was kinda docile tonight, a rare sight considering his bus-driving skills. He pilots the bus like how one would a Lotus Elise.

As the bus lumbered out of Caldecott Broadcast Center, I contemplated the bittersweet feeling of finally leaving --not on a jetplane, unfortunately-- without saying goodbye to so many people. I didn't even get a chance to hug Queen because she was rushing home herself!!

I politely thanked him for the last time, wondering when I was going to ever get the chance to take the bus again. And I cringed to myself as a sinking feeling reached the pits of my stomach. Damn, it was back to that dratted Loyang traffic jam at 6pm every day when I go to school.

Laterz...
Lenny